Ahead of Victoria’s annual festival bonanza that is Pitch and Golden Plains weekend, we thought it best to consult the experts and get some tips on how to survive with the best of them. To do so, we went to Inner Varnika director and festival master himself, Mr. Louis McCoy. Wisdom personified.
1. Respect. The most important ingredient for every party, everyone is there to have a good time just like you so treat them the way you want to be treated.
2. Know Your Limits. Getting turnt is super swell but don’t ruin the rest of you and your mates weekend by cooking it too hard. Bring to the boil then let simmer.
3. Hydrate. We all know water the next morning tastes like the devil’s favourite sock juice but that’s no excuse to not get some H2YO up ya. Always bring a few coconut waters with you and always have one on ice for when you wake and feel like a crusty demon- it’s like a shower for your insides. Also have some hydralite on standby for hydra-bellini’s;
-1 sachet of orange Hydralite
-200 ml of Prosecco
-100 ml of peach puree
Photo by Rhys Newling
4. Eat. Tbh, doof grub is usually bloody good and theres heaps of choice. You really don’t have any excuse to not eat. You can pretend you’ll eat those half black bananas, Aldi muesli bars and a servo size UP&GO but really you should just go grab nice hot toastie or a freshly blessed açai bowl to keep the demons at bay.
5. Sleep. Sleep is sick, we all whinge about not getting enough of it all week and then we do our best on weekends to stay awake for the longest. Doof naps are key, if you sleep, you eat, if you eat, you shit, if you shit, you happy. Simple. Get at least 4 hours a night and body will be grateful.
6. Pre-mix your drinks. It’s good to be fancy. Drinks of choice include the bloody mary, espresso martinis, aperol spritzes, perhaps a dark and stormy? This could all be yours if you spend a few minutes getting prepped beforehand (which also allows for maximum grog time). Tip: bring a reusable cup (NO STRAWS!!)
7. Personal Air Con. It’s fucking hot in the outback (of Victoria), so the best way to deal with it is bring a big light weight scarf/sarong and dump it in an esky and then wrap it around your head and shoulders. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
8. Clean Undies. You really don’t need a shower, everyone stinks and the dust does a pretty good job at hiding that but it pays to change your undies daily to help prevent the growth of crutch-shrooms.
Photo by Sarah Pannell
9. Good Shoes. 160 bpm psy trance will run right through your TN’s in under 5 minutes. Get some lightweight leather steeze for bulk stomp. Wear them in prior to look more like a seasoned wookie.
10. Esky/Ice (frozen water). Honestly, you cannot survive without cold drinks. Always at least have half a bag of ice in your esky and never leave your esky in the sun, never come back to camp empty handed, always bring a bag, someone will have space.
11. Camping Chair. Cutting up dust is mint but sitting down telling gags is just as mint if not mintier. Are you gonna be the person who sits in everyone else’s chairs? Don’t be. Bring your own, sit on it, enjoy it, share it.
Photo by Jade Foskett
12. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!! Seriously, don’t bring it with you if you’re not going to take it home.